Every morning we start our day by looking in the mirror. We see all parts of our body and, often, have shame or are frustration with individual body parts that we wished looked different. At that moment, we often forget that we have a lot of attractive qualities. For most people, there is not self-acceptance. This is especially true when we, literally, can see the unhealthy choices we have made when we look at our physique.

There have been many science fiction movies that focus on ways to genetically enhance the human body, to create what is deemed perfection. Frankly, if that were a reality now, none of us would make the cut. We often cherry-pick what we wish we could look like and are pretty good at it. On social media, our photos look amazing as we use filters and tuners to create the perfect aesthetic.

As we focus on our external, we often forget that our internal is the part of us that is just as important. If someone were to talk about your best friend and say certain things about them, you’d immediately know if that were true or not. You would either defend your friend, or you’d ignore their comments because they carried no weight with you. However, did you realize you often tell yourself certain things about yourself that aren’t true?

When we don’t practice listening to our thoughts and paying attention to what we always tell ourselves, we don’t have a healthy identity of who we truly are. We often allow our circumstances to define our worth. If you were in a bad breakup, you tell yourself you aren’t lovable or attractive. If you lost your job, you tell yourself you aren’t good enough. Unfortunately, we allow these events to define who we are, and that then sets the tone for what we tell ourselves over and over.

One excellent way to see what you think about yourself is to pay close attention to what you tell yourself when you do something embarrassing or silly. If you call yourself stupid, dumb, or simply yell at yourself, you’ve allowed an event or a person from when you were a child to define who you are. This then becomes what you continually tell yourself over and over, which, unfortunately, becomes who you are at your core.

I always encourage my audience to speak aloud their internal thoughts. When we speak it aloud, we can hear how illogical what we think really is. When you say it, ask yourself, is this true? Am I stupid, dumb, worthless, ugly? When you catch yourself calling yourself names, you realize you are essentially being a “mean girl” to yourself. Frankly, you are bullying yourself. If you would never say these things to another, then why would you do it to yourself?

Core beliefs plague our lives. We often don’t realize how much they influence us in everything we do – from relationships, work, finances, health, and many other areas. When you stop and ask yourself if what you’ve told yourself is factual, you’ll see that it’s merely something you’ve believed for years that is not true.

Catching how you think about yourself is the first step in accepting yourself. You learn that you have areas of development, but for the most part, you are pretty awesome! You can fully embrace the qualities you have and make plans for ways to improve areas of growth. It’s not about ignoring parts we don’t like about ourselves and cherry-picking the best qualities, but rather accepting you, all of you.

We’ve all worked on a jigsaw puzzle before. We look at the picture on the box and have an idea of what it looks like. However, if you isolate one of the pieces, you often think that the manufacturer put in the wrong piece, or you got an extra piece by accident. Looking at the pieces by themselves doesn’t make sense in the grand scheme of things. However, when you start to put the pieces together, they begin to create a beautiful picture on the box. Your personality traits, physique, events in your past are just like those jigsaw puzzle pieces. When you focus on each one of them separately, you don’t know how they make sense in your life, or why they are even there. However, not every piece in a puzzle is the prettiest piece. Still, when you combine them all together, they link together to create the gorgeous “picture,” you.

Self-acceptance is vital for personal growth. Yes, we should all strive to be healthy but not perfect, Self-development starts with only accepting all of you, not just the filtered version of you. Your negative core beliefs no longer have to define you. You get to define you based on truth, not based on what you were told, or what you learned as a consequence of a previous action.

Don’t be that “mean girl” to yourself and only focus on everything you don’t like about yourself. Stand up for yourself and challenge what you know to be true. Don’t let your negative self-talk bully you and whisper lies to you.

Today is the day to accept you, not only parts of you.

James Miller is a licensed psychotherapist and the executive producer and host of the nationally broadcasted and syndicated radio show LIFEOLOGY®. Visit www.JamesMillerLIFEOLOGY.com or LIFEOLOGY.tv to sign up for the Weekly Recap and have all radio shows, articles, YouTube episodes, and products emailed to you each week.

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