James was featured as one fo the experts in the publication Up Journey

Licensed Psychotherapist, James Miller Lifeology | Host & Executive Producer, “LIFEOLOGY®” Radio

Limit your time with the narcissist

Most individuals familiar with narcissists often can become overwhelmed or struggle to self-advocate as they can become overly frustrated with the narcissist.

Every narcissist will present differently. In the DSM-V, a narcissist is part of three clusters of personality disorders. They are categorized in the B Cluster. Within this cluster will find Borderline, Antisocial, and Histrionic personality disorders. This cluster is often labeled entitled or dramatic.

The best way for anyone to take power back from a narcissist is to set healthy boundaries and limits.

One of the significant attributes of a narcissist is to push another’s buttons or disprove what the other person says or any value that the other person may have. It’s continually being right or focusing on something that was not up to par, even if what the other person has said is true.

It’s well known they will minimize or present that they are doing the other person a favor for being in their presence.

One of the struggles that most narcissists will have is a narcissistic injury.

This injury is blatant proof that what they said or did was incorrect. If a person were to injure the narcissist in this way, it could backfire, as that narcissist will never forget what was done and will wait until they can eradicate the person who crossed them.

Every person who encounters a narcissist must first identify that the person is a narcissist. One way to do that is to recognize a feeling within themselves that they are second-guessing themselves. It’s a natural affectation that a narcissist will have.

Regardless of your role in this person’s life, you will feel you don’t measure up. You can be the most competent person but start to second guess yourself. You will attempt to overcompensate or to prove your value or worth.

Once a person recognizes that this person may be a narcissist, they must prepare themselves before seeing this person. Once they prepare themselves for any meeting or phone call, they have to limit their time with that person.

Initially, a boundary is set on time. “Kyle, I only have 10 minutes to speak with you today.” Once that ten minutes is up, I must disengage from the conversation.

The next thing one must do is monitor their emotional response. Anytime a person is triggered by a narcissist, they will experience a spike of emotion, which usually causes a person to react unproductively.

A first response is always the more emotional response, but it rarely ends well, especially with a narcissist. Once they are aware of the emotional spike, they have to use internal self-talk to set a boundary within themselves.

For example, “James, you know this guy is trying to push your buttons; the more emotive you are, the more power he has over you.” This self-talk keeps me in check from arguing with someone, especially when I know I will lose.

When a person attempts to argue or prove their point with anyone in a cluster B category, they will lose. The other party will win at all costs.

If you can prove they are wrong, the narcissist injury will kick in, and you will eventually lose.

When a person sets a boundary of time or a behavioral boundary, they must be implemented. If it is not implemented consistently, the narcissist will exploit it and mock the other person.

Overall, to take power away from a narcissist is to:

• limit one’s time with them,
• set strict boundaries of time and behavior modification,
• and practice restraint.

When in doubt, appease the narcissist by agreeing with them and then reset your boundary and internal self-talk.

Cited from UpJourney How to Take Control Away From a Narcissist (40+ Ways)