Often we think about a past or future event and we create imaginary conflicts or arguments with people. We get ourselves worked up about what we think their response will be and then we ratchet up our rebuttal until we are so annoyed about the  argument… when it never happened in the first place.

Creating imaginary conflict is a waste of energy and causes us to feel irritated or agitated which negatively impacts us in the present. It is also a set up for us to act in a negative way when we see the person with whom we had this imaginary argument. We will treat them a certain way and, at times, even set them up to become angry with us so that we are justified to think, “I knew they were going to respond that way.” This is a version of a self-fulfilling prophecy.  When you notice you are having these imaginary arguments you must quickly tell yourself to stop. Sometimes, saying “Stop” aloud is helpful to interrupt the thought pattern.

Don’t waste your energy arguing with someone who isn’t there.

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On April 19th, my latest album, Restoration, will be available for purchase on all digital music stores.