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James Miller

Licensed Psychotherapist, James Miller Lifeology | Host & Executive Producer, “LIFEOLOGY®” Radio

Narcissists are labeled to be entitled or dramatic

Most individuals familiar with narcissists can often become overwhelmed or struggle to self-advocate as they become overly frustrated with the narcissist.

Every narcissist will present differently. In the DSM-V, a narcissist is part of three clusters of personality disorders. They are categorized in the B Cluster.

In this cluster, you will find Borderline, Antisocial, and Histrionic personality disorders. This cluster is often labeled entitled or dramatic.

They disprove what the other person says

One of the significant attributes of a narcissist is to push another’s buttons or disprove what the other person says or any value that the other person may have.

It’s continually being right or focusing on something that was not up to par, even if what the other person has said is true. It’s well known they will minimize or present that they are doing the other person a favor by being in their presence.

There is a significant power differential in a relationship

When a narcissist is in a relationship with someone, there is a significant power differential. Most partners of a narcissist will often display symptoms of an anxious attachment.

Related: The 4 Different Types of Attachment Styles

The more the narcissist pulls away, the more the anxious partner will be triggered to fix the relationship or “do better.” Unfortunately, this creates a very toxic relationship.

They will belittle to such a degree that the person may stay in the relationship

When a partner has decided to leave, their attempt will often be thwarted as the narcissist will berate and belittle to such a degree that the person may cave and stay in the relationship.

They are experiencing Narcissistic Injury

The person does not realize that the narcissist is experiencing a Narcissistic Injury. This injury is blatant proof that the partner in some way is better than or could do better with another or that there is a form of weakness/deficit in the narcissist.

Narcissistic Injuries are the leading cause for many narcissists not divorcing. If they can make life miserable for the person who wants to leave them, they are disproving any deficit inflicted or implied about the narcissist; what was said about them or what they did was incorrect.

They will never forget what was done and will wait to eradicate the person

If a person were to injure the narcissist in this way, it could backfire, as that narcissist will never forget what was done and will wait until they can eradicate the person who crossed them.

This is why many people wanting to divorce a narcissist are unsuccessful in either leaving or having the narcissist sign the divorce decree.

If a person were to leave the narcissist, the best approach is to minimize the narcissistic injury by taking the “blame” for the relationship not working and allowing the narcissist to exit gracefully.