Throughout your life, you will experience many situations that do not make sense. The person whom you thought was the person of your dreams tells you it’s over. The job that seemed perfect for you was given to someone else. When these events happen, it causes you to feel defeated and will feed your negative self-perception. Closed doors (opportunities) play a vital role in your development.

Remember, your life is like a jigsaw puzzle. When you scatter the pieces and start to connect them, some parts make sense as to where they fit in the picture, while others seem obscure, as if they were put in the wrong box. It’s the same thing in your own life. There will be joyous events that you will remember with fondness, while other events seem painful, jagged, and lonely. If you isolate that incident, it will feel bad, but just like that jigsaw puzzle, the disappointment has a place in your life. The difference is, you determine if it’s the main image that people becomes your identity, or if it’s a supporting piece that is part of the background of the larger picture. The more you isolate an event, the more it will become all you focus on, and it will arrest your personal development. This event then becomes the label you use to describe yourself. These events are what you have experienced, but they are not who you are.

I once worked with a client who was heartbroken because the person whom she felt was the love of her life dumped her, and she struggled to move on. She relayed how each day she would beg God to bring him back to her. I happened to run into her a few years after she was discharged from my practice, and she introduced me to her husband and child. When they stepped away, she whispered how she now thanks God every day that she did not marry the previous man. He had now been married three times and could not maintain employment. This is an excellent example of how a closed door, which seems incredibly devastating at the time, is an opportunity for you to push beyond mediocrity.

When you experience a closed-door situation, either from life’s circumstances or from the choices of another person, think of it as an opportunity to grow. Sometimes a closed door has to happen because we would remain in that current situation and settle for less than we deserve. It may be hard to believe at this time, but that person did you a favor. Your heartache will end one day.

It’s up to you to look at previous events and remind yourself that you’ve overcome other emotional events. The trick is to see now how each of those past disappointments led to a fantastic opportunity later on. You may not realize it, but, just like that jigsaw puzzle, all events are linked together.

The opportunities you have today would not have been made possible if you had not experienced the previously closed doors. You must remind yourself of this as you process your grief from your current situation. There will come a time when you can look back and be amazed at how it all worked together. Remember, a setback is always a setup for a comeback.